Scribblings with Green Chalk


Explosions in the Sky
May 23, 2008, 9:48 am
Filed under: cultural differences, sounds

EITS

(Image from Temporary Residence Limited)

I saw Explosions in the Sky last night. I felt incredibly rusty before that concert, eons since I’d been to one. Karlstorbahnhof is quite small, as is the town itself, so it was already very exciting that the band decided to readjust their sense of space by coming here. In spite of the place being slightly reminiscent of a community center stage, there weren’t any glitches. It was very beautiful. Both EITS and the support act, Eluvium, fulfilled the promise of the evening for me. I had almost forgotten how emotionally engaging I’d always found live music.

Not to play amateur ethnology, but my ideas about crowd behavior and response to music got a bit challenged by what I saw last night. I hope it’s just cultural difference and not a sign that I’m losing grip of reality. But I swear, in Poland, the room would have been afloat with dancing bodies. I don’t doubt that people were enjoying themselves, yet I found their enjoyment incredibly static. I don’t know: maybe times are changing and my crazily spiritual attitude towards live music, with an immediate bodily response and occasional tears is just demodé?…

Explosions in the Sky NPR Concert



Bibliothek
May 3, 2008, 12:44 pm
Filed under: Europe, cultural differences, student life

As in: A place one should not go to if one wishes to obtain books. No chance. The downfall of European education is imminent and the root of evil is planted in university libraries. The falcon cannot hear the falconer and the works.

When I was doing my undergrad in the land of milk and honey, I knew that the books either simply weren’t there because the money which the government could have spent on education was channeled into subsidies for farmers, or because the department head had snatched them for his private collection years ago. What puzzles me about German-speaking countries is that when the books actually are there, they tend to be inaccessible to human beings.

Most of the books you will ever need as a student in Europe fall under the category of departmental holdings. ‘Departmental holding’ in library-catalog-speak means that whatever you were looking for is out of bounds. The only person who gets to touch it is the librarian and, if the librarian is in a good mood, the tenured professor. Younger faculty probably need to go through some sort of bloody initiation rites. In short, the departmental library is the possessive librarian’s dream come true. After another hard day of guarding the fount of knowledge from the dirty paws of the unworthy masses, they can freely exclaim “mine, all mine!” and I imagine many of them do. You, as a mere mortal, are allowed to go crying to your mommy.

You might be somewhat comforted to hear that departmental holdings may be looked at briefly in reading rooms. Yet the reading room is a subject of its own.

“It is not accidental that in the torturers’ idiom the room in which the brutality occurs was called the ‘production room’ in the Philippines, the ‘cinema room’ in South Vietnam, and the ‘blue lit stage’ in Chile: built on these repeated acts of display and having as its purpose the production of a fantastic illusion of power, torture is a grotesque piece of compensatory drama,” writes Elaine Scarry. In Europe, we call it the reading room, the public space of discomfort and impossible work conditions in which the student is invited to read and write. Welcome to the reading room.

First, you are made to strip down almost your underwear, because if your sweater is judged too fluffy by the librarian, you will be accused of introducing harmful paper-destroying dampness into the open stacks area. No bags are allowed. If you say you don’t understand why, it just means you’re a thief trying to sneak out a stack of precious first editions in your tiny pocketbook. It doesn’t matter that all books have magnetic strips and that there are alarm gates at the exit. Come in (almost) naked and innocent or leave this holy place forever.

Once you’ve stuffed all your belongings into a locker two floors away (if you were smart enough to bring small change), you can make your way to the reading room. (Turning back at some point to get the library card which you left in the locker.) The library does not take any responsibility for your belongings but you’re fine with that, since you have realized by now that you mean nothing to this glorious institution. Apart from being the source of occasional entertainment for the staff: the sight of you balancing your laptop, notebook, wallet, and pens and trying not to drop any of those while you look for the library card can be mildly hilarious. Especially if you do drop them.

More or less settled in the reading room, you are made acutely aware of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You want at the same time to get the pencil you left in the locker, to drink, and to go to the bathroom. (Did you notice that big sign at the entrance, the one with the water bottle crossed out?) Concentration is impossible, it doesn’t matter that you are allowed to work with the desired book for maybe even a whole hour before the library closes. You can’t focus. Chances are that you will not want to add to the time you’ve already wasted there and will decide not to eat for a month so as to be able to afford a copy of the book. If you can still remember what it was.

In the rare fortunate situation, the book you need is in the main library, in the open stacks, where you can pick it up yourself and take home. Yet the open stacks area or, more accurately, Freihandbereich is not always the idyll it promises to be. With no way to reserve the volume you want from home, you have to run to the shelf (stripped, remember) and pray that no one is using the book in the building at that very moment. What if that nightmare scenario is true? What then?

Well, in that case, not even an eyelid-deforming disease will melt the icecaps on the librarian’s heart. All you can do is come back every day like a romantic idiot and check if the book is on the shelf. Of course you have all the time in the world. After all, it’s Europe and we’re all brimming with sophistication to the point where we don’t mind the blatant ludicrousness of such actions but repeat them with pleasure.

If you were wondering why I did the bulk of my library research in Florida, now you know.



Inventing the Barbarians: Folk Anthropology and Faith in The New York Times
November 17, 2007, 11:45 am
Filed under: cultural differences, ignorance, the blogosphere

Everyone can do it: pick a place on the map, possibly the most distant from your home, and come up with a few crazy ideas about what life there could be like. You can call this game “Inventing the Barbarians.”

What brought me to this conclusion was a post about Kyrgyzstan on one of the wordpress blogs. I sent the link to a friend who is Kyrgyz (the HCA people all know who that is:-)) and then decided to join the discussion myself, having read through all the comments.

I do believe that it was genuine curiosity that inspired the discussion. However, it was nothing more than folk anthropology and, in the end, “Inventing the Barbarians.” Folk anthropology is a temptation we all give in to, when we want to grasp the exotic and lack the information and proper tools to approach it. Yet folk theories should not be treated as anything more than what they are — rules of thumb to be kept within the intimacy of one’s mind. Folk anthropology relies on simplistic distinctions between “us” and “them,” “the civilized” and “the barbarians.” If let out into the world and popularized, it can be very harmful. That is my main reservation toward the kind of writing exemplified by Brownstein’s post. A university professor should be sensitive to how easy it is to get the hate machine going, and the comments he got unfortunately show that his thinking out loud corroborated some of his readers’ own folk theories.

One other interesting issue that the post brought to my attention is how folk anthropology uses sources of information and how it blindly trusts data. The most minuscule scrap of information gains paramount importance, is clung onto and quoted over and over again along with a set of obscure statistics. (All of a sudden, everyone’s forgotten that statistics is the most refined lie.) It becomes an issue of faith, not of interpretation. The New York Times as ultimate authority? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan; I don’t know what my Sunday breakfast would be without NYTimes. But whatever happened to critical reading? NYTimes, like any other newspaper, is tied to the demands of the market. The articles have to cater to the lay public (yet intelligent, yes) that seeks not only information but also entertainment. The writing style has to be pleasing and generalizations need to be formed so as to communicate a point within the limited space of the printed page. NYTimes is not the gospel truth, there are other sources of information out there. Go find them.

Internet and blogging give you the opportunity to talk to the people from the most exotic and distant places. Use it instead of inventing barbarians.

To us all folk anthropologists out there: go out and listen and seek. And think quietly, and think quietly again before you start thinking out loud.



Nacht der Wissenschaft
November 10, 2007, 3:12 pm
Filed under: America, Europe, cultural differences, student life

Tonight I was at the HCA to help out with our americanist contribution to the Long Night of Academia. We had lots and lots of kitsch decorations: red-white-and-blue bells, ribbons, and flags, of course, flags. And hot dogs, muffins, and marshmallows. After three hours of giving out marshmallows as prizes in the US quiz, I got more than bored with them.

It’s funny to think, though, that it takes so little to represent a place or an idea. What we had there tonight was cliché to the extreme. And it worked. On some level, those simplifications simply do their job. Without denying diversity, there is always place for the almost too straightforward in any grand thought and in any country.

On top of my favorites’ list of those straightforward elements of American life are the mailboxes (I just found a website of a firm manufacturing them in Germany, so I’m not the only fan). In Europe, they’re mostly unnoticeable. Not to mention, smaller. In the States, they’re like separate actors in the landscape. It’s endearing how out-of-place they look. If I tried to condense my memories of Ithaca into a single image, it would be that of a baffled deer nuzzling a mailbox.

But quite apart from my favorites’ list, beyond my liking and not liking, is the US flag. It’s everywhere. In Europe, you can see national flags on courthouses, city halls, or on national holidays. More and more often they’re accompanied by the flag of the EU. I personally have a problem with how the American landcape is cluttered with flagpoles. Is it due to some inexpressible yet profound need to connect with the symbol? Perhaps it’s something that I cannot grasp because, coming from Central Europe, I have an inherent fear of nationalism? Let it be a proof of my discomfort that after a few hours I just had to get rid of the picture of a flagpole I took in NYC from the blog header. Too uncanny for my taste.

On the other hand, I like it how the flag is used and abused. People tear up and stain thousands of them every day, since they’re on napkins, paper cups, T-shirts.

There’s a whole lot of them in the HCA trash tonight.

If you wanted to know about the Democrat-Republican debate in Heidelberg, you should have been there in that huge crowd. I didn’t feel like suffocating in there and the Republican was late anyway.



When Meek Girls Drown in Bathtubs
October 22, 2007, 8:13 am
Filed under: America, cultural differences, feminism, film

She should not have refused to kiss her lover the next morning using the silly excuse that “kisses are intimate.” Immediately we saw the face of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman sliding over hers like a mask in a bank robbery, borrowed where it wasn’t needed. She probably shouldn’t have played with the yellow bandana either, because the rag failed to be her story’s falcon. But the doses of naivety were necessary. After all, it wasn’t Shakespeare retold by simply adding non-European cast. The allusions to Faulkner didn’t make the girl Quentin Compson’s Caddy as she lightly leaped off the pedestal (got out of the car and started walking towards the city).

If we take Asian Americans to be a ‘model minority’ – well-educated, staying out of trouble, quiet – then we should think of this movie as something made with a magnifying glass. The quotes and mis-quotes would then help us see what would otherwise be doubly invisible, because it is a story about Asian American women.

There are few things that are as translucent as girls trained in meekness. Their fingers pick through heaps of trash and no one comes to their aid. Joy Dietrich’s movie doesn’t scream about this, it simply says this is the case. We see a girl picking through garbage when everyone else is asleep, a college student in both pre-law and pre-med whose perfect body is no comfort but yet another duty, and finally the protagonist who refuses to be her brother’s incestuous fantasy and turns back. The keepers of their stories, the white landlady and the demanding parents who say volumes with meaningful pauses, cannot be slain like dragons. Years of silencing cannot be likened to a dragon and therefore a brave knight is absolutely out of place. When the protagonist’s brother appears at her door trying to play that role, his quest slowly dissipates into a drive around New Jersey. It’s up to Jenny to end it and head back to what she left behind. There are no songs of triumph in this picture, just a mix CD playing in the car during Jenny’s unfinished escape. Listening to it, she is not daydreaming about romantic fulfillment but figuring out a way to speak in and to the world. By that time she knows she will have to learn to speak for herself rather than let Joe guard their story and carry it off into the fields surrounding the road. She’s a photographer, not a model.

Beatrice is the model. She is also the meek girl eventually found dead in the bathtub, because she does not manage to break out of the canvas on which others projected their fantasies of her. Quite literally, in the beginning of the story, Dietrich has her posing as one living element in a painting of fields stretching towards a lonely farm. She plays a crawling invalid, thus prefiguring that she will be trapped in that momentary pose for the rest of the movie. Her demanding parents and abusive boyfriend make her crawl from one form of perfection to another. In the end, her stunning beauty, undeniable intelligence, and dedication are meaningless. She is ridiculous standing on the parapet in a silk nightgown as if she were slipping into yet another familiar role even when considering suicide. When Jenny pulls her corpse out of the bathtub, the pretty dress and lightly smudged make-up cake the person who suffocated underneath. A person who didn’t know herself and in her textbooks, which she read out loud, didn’t find a way to speak her self. Beatrice’s death is not meant as a mere warning. We are aware that there was a person underneath the make-up. Her suicide is the dotted i of her presence; it’s the only outlet for the otherwise incessantly curbed will. The banality of her death and the borrowing involved in the story are necessary. In her white nightgown moment on the parapet, Beatrice refers us to the cliché image of Emily Dickinson.* If you can recall a line or two, you can hang on to them as hints at the story which Beatrice – an unfulfilled creative writer – cannot tell. The poem she does leave as her suicide note is neither good nor enlightening and, to my mind, could have been left out just like the clumsy allusion to Pretty Woman.

The girls in Tie a Yellow Ribbon do not speak magic spells or start revolutions with declarations full of fire. The act of speaking is here practical and concrete. Towards the end of the movie Beatrice and Jenny’s neighbor finally plucks up courage to talk back to the landlady who made her sort the garbage. Jenny calls her foster mother whom she hadn’t talked to in years. After much consideration, they put together sentences through which they can become actors and not recipients of their own story. Does this sound like a description of a cheap assertiveness course? It should not. Dietrich’s juggling with banality brings us to a place where banality matters. The patterns of everyday become no less real because of their familiarity or similarity to random novels or movies. Just because so much has been written about identity search, feminism, depression, doesn’t mean that all is resolved. On the contrary, the seemingly resolved slips back into invisibility. Although this is not the age of sentimental heroines, meek girls drown in bathtubs, as quietly beautiful as when they were still alive.

I do not quite understand why the title is Tie a Yellow Ribbon, maybe because for me the motif of the bandana misfired. The German title, Die Koreanerin, makes even less sense to me, because although the main character is Korean American, the two other girls are of Japanese (I think) and Chinese descent, and the bonding of these three women lies at the heart of the tale. It is where the connecting and disconnecting that Jenny repeatedly mentions takes on a different form.

It would be misguided to liken it to male bonding as presented in, for instance, Moby Dick. It’s not a myth but one of those unseen, untold everyday affairs. My friend Junyoung (who happens to be a Korean New Yorker like Dietrich’s Jenny) made me realize this when she told me about a movie called Take Care of My Cat. “There are no movies about single women in their twenties,” she said. “They begin to exist in popular imagination when they turn thirty. Before that, they are always presented in relation to men in their environment.” I have been coming back to her point ever since. With Tie a Yellow Ribbon I found my tentative response.

Not only are the three girls dogged by the stereotype of the meek Asian woman but, because of their age, they lack the privilege of experience. Speaking therefore means in their case breaking not just the cultural taboo but entering a gray area between experience and innocence. Which is to say, disappearing. However, through their bond they escape invisibility as they see one another. While I am not denying that it is a movie about identity and about problems facing Asian Americans, problems I may not be fully grasping, not being touched by them, I think that this aspect is equally significant. I am impressed by Dietrich’s ability to give those twenty-year-olds voices and bodies. Throughout the story she lets the audience know that she could easily make her characters slip into ready-made roles. But even with one girl drowned, she didn’t make them a threesome of amateur Ophelias. There is a story within, between, and beyond the borrowing.

*I would like to thank Asia for hissing “Emily Dickinson” into my ear during that scene.



Some Thoughts Come Unfinished or Otherwise Unraveled
August 9, 2007, 2:53 am
Filed under: culinary imagination, cultural differences, language

I got an email today from someone whose opinions and ideas I always find very interesting. I consult him often about various things, or rather pester with my ideas and unfinished thoughts. This person, who was my teacher for a while, tends to respond to my half-bitten ideas with wounderfully rounded thoughts. We talked about Complete Thoughts once but it was too hot then to, er, complete the thought. Perhaps one day I might get my mental balancing act to reach that level. I feel I have learned a lot from my teacher but this may not be something that I could learn. Maybe my ruminations on milk cartons and teeth are meant to stay frayed?

What if we all had Complete Thoughts? Would we then want to share observations so eagerly? As things are, there are shapely insights and questions with brand new wisdom teeth, just waiting to nibble at completeness. And then Complete Thoughts bite back and there are crumbs everywhere — tasty non sequiturs and aphorisms.

Before I get carried away into the world of tastes, let me just say that I was very surprised to learn that my teacher reads these entries sometimes. I realized I had been writing them with the assumption that absolutely no one reads them (except Denise, who is wonderful and was kind enough to comment on some of my frayed thoughts). I did feel slightly embarrassed because the overall triviality of my postings after reading my teacher’s letter. After all, who cares about my blueberry obsessions and toothache? But, well, if you can see the world in a grain of sand, then think of what may appear in a blueberry that is not a blueberry in the European understanding of the word and for many people does not exist as concept nor fruit at all…

We are back to tastes again and the little things that make up my postings. I am writing this after a day of tastes and shameless gluttony. It all began with a salad called Flower Power, followed by a trip to the Cornell Dairy Bar, a Shakespearean cookbook that Debbie found at Borders, dinner at home (that Shakespeare certainly would have enjoyed), and lemon ice cream with fruit (Shakespeare might have wanted to count the blueberries and write a blueberry poem which I might have enjoyed). And there are crumbs of ideas, of course. And I really do not think I want to do anything about that.

PS: It was New England clam chowder.



Counting Blueberries
July 24, 2007, 2:35 am
Filed under: America, Bishop, cultural differences, language

The differences have to be slight. Tiny displacements, changes of scale. I pick up a carton of milk from the fridge and get an Alice-in-Wonderland feeling that everything around me has grown and is stealthily continuing to expand. As for the blueberries — the berries were chalk-like, too. This has, of course, nothing to do with taste. They could seem like a mathematician’s joke; they are larger here. Thick dots.

I am having a great time. My ruminations on kitchen themes seem like research, watching fireflies is a serious study of nature. I think about the first naturalists who came to theNew World and named so many plants and animals after the European species that appeared to them similar — only to discover that there is more than meets the eye. I feel like I can appreciate such kind of misunderstanding.

Back in Ithaca after a few months to enjoy the contrast with winter as I saw it here. I’m counting on those small everyday slips and modest revelations. I do identify to some extent with Zuko, the cat, who gets lost immediately after he steps out of the house but nevertheless tries to get out.

Debbie told me that the Spanish words for blueberry and cranberry make little sense in Latin America. Not only are the fruits fairly unknown, but the names seem to describe nothing. I cannot remember what those words were and I feel that old sense of annoyance that I do not understand. I wish that I could understand that lack of understanding. I looked up “health” in the online Welsh dictionary today and remembered how much fun it was to play with my ignorance, collecting new words like glass balls or souvenir magnets. I wonder what counting blueberries would be like if the word “blueberry” made no sense. And I wonder if Bishop knew about the linguistic confusion when she was writing the poem. Was that in Brazil? Is there any dilemma in Portuguese? If those questions appear silly to you, please remember that I started with amazement at milk cartons. This is as far as I want to go — not straying from the fridge. Here’s the deepest thought that came to me: words like to go for a walk away from the concepts, as the blueberry/cranberry example shows. Or blackberries. Either way, it’s all about fruit.



Observations
June 14, 2007, 11:20 pm
Filed under: America, cultural differences, poetry

an idea stolen from Marianne Moore, of course. The word sounds both more open and more focused than ‘thoughts’ or ‘meditations.’ It captures a sense of distance between the thing and the thinking mind, which only gets hold of the thing in passing, borrowing it for a moment, and letting go. I realize as I write this that borrowing and stealing can be interchangeable without an ironic undertone. Perhaps, we do steal the object of our thought from the world and, when we replace it, it is slightly used?… I can’t resist a quote. Costello calls Moore “a kleptomaniac of the mind”:

Moore was a compulsive reader and note-taker, copying out verbatim in her tiny scrawl page after page of others’ observations — more than a dozen volumes during her career. [...] At the back of every diary, Moore kept a personal index — these volumes were compendiums of the represented world, resources she could draw on in creating an individual reality.

I find such meticulousness endearing. But while not everyone is interested in cataloging observations and turning them into art, everyone revels in having them. I say ‘everyone’ and immediately my thoughts go to a text and an incident that put my generalization into question. The text is Agnieszka Salska’s article on Moore in which she considers the title Observations as an expression of Moore’s Americanness. The incident is my stolen observation, in my notebook, that is, here. A few weeks ago I was waiting for a friend in front of Stephansdom. There was a group of American tourists — five or six ladies in their fifties — that had just come out of the cathedral. They were in the midst of a rather heated debate about politics. Only the exclamations reached me, so I’m not even sure what their views were. But I heard the ending very clearly. One of the ladies, apparently annoyed with the direction the discussion was heading, said in an authoritative tone that everybody is entitled to their own opinion in America, bacause that’s what America is about. I fought the compulsion to ask her about it. Instead, I asked Denise — as a sociologist and an American — if she thinks there is something distinctly national about having and expressing opinions and observations. Denise was very cautious about this idea and actual freedom of speech. Our brief exchange made me wonder about yet another aspect of the issue: why do we like to label and arrange our observations so much? When I think of 1980s’ Po(e)land and family gatherings, the first thing that comes to my mind is how my relatives enjoyed arguing about politics. It was a completely different country, no one mentioned freedom of speech, yet they all claimed the right to express their views. Was the enjoyment they derived from their observations any different just because they would attribute it to “Polish subversiveness”? I don’t know. Maybe this is the point where observations get too close to the thinking mind and change into convictions.